The 'How To' Guide For Colombo Traffic

By following these simple steps you will be able to survive home in one piece.

1) Preparation
Assume nothing. The Colombo traffic is a symbiosis of cars, lorries, busses, mopeds, bikes, tuk-tuks, pedestrians, cows, dogs, cats, chicken, bugs,... Yes, there are lanes, but like I said...Assume absolutely nothing.

2) Stepping out
Once you have set yourself on the correct mindset you are ready to take the first step out. First thing that hits you is the nastily polluted air created by the symphony of all those particles mentioned. As a pedestrian you are also exposed to the open air garbage which add a nice scent to the combination of different smells. However, you quickly get used to that. When on the street, remember to keep your eyes on the road as there are numerous hazards on the way, like unexpected holes. And for the jokesters out there, it really isn't that funny to slip on a banana peel.

3) Crossing the road
Now here, you need to develop a bit more advanced strategies. My advice... Human shields. Cross the road with more people and position yourself on the covered side. Don't forget to change in midway. And for us continental Europeans, note that the person should be on your right.

4) Public transportation
...means tuktuks and busses. The first are very convenient and surely easy to encounter in any corner of the city. Remember to look reluctant to the price suggested as it is never the last offer. Usually the "real" price, or also known as the "local" price, is half of that the driver is trying to get. They usually give up easy and a resonable price can be negotiated.
When it comes to busses, they too are an ok means for moving yourself from A to B. Be prepared to jump in and out without hesitation as the time on busstops is sometimes equivalent to a microsecond. You can also opt to jump out in traffic jam, traffic lights or whenever the bus is sloving down enough. The doors are always open. Busstops can be best recognized by the crowds gathering on one spot on the street. And that is about the only way of recognizing them... Also, be prepared to loud and frequent honking.

5) Driving
Don't urge...